Dear lovely reader
After watching some amazing content that was supposed to be motivational, I started noticing a pang of envy, wishing my life looked more like the beautiful life of so many others. Does this sound familiar? The constant barrage of seemingly perfect vacations, career milestones, and blessed moments can leave us feeling like we’re falling short.
But let’s face it: Social media is a highlight reel, a carefully constructed illusion that doesn’t reflect the full reality of anyone’s life. And to top it all, mostly the best side is presented (I am guilty too). The comparison game is a recipe for FOMO (fear of missing out) and envy, and it’s a dish that leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.
The John Story: A Reality Check
Let me share a story that hit close to home. My dear friend John (names have been changed to protect privacy), a super awesome guy with a fantastic job at a top company, recently confessed he felt like he had achieved nothing. He had been binge-watching documentaries about Olympic champions and business tycoons, and suddenly his own accomplishments felt… just insignificant.
Hold on, John, I thought. Is this jealousy? We dug deeper, and it wasn’t just envy. It was a deeper yearning to do more, to make a bigger impact. But here’s the thing: that yearning can easily get tangled up with comparison, making us feel like failures because we’re not replicating someone else’s path.
Let’s Shift the Focus: From Comparison to Contentment
So how do we break free from the comparison trap and cultivate contentment? Here are some tips I’ve found helpful:
- Social Media Detox: Take a break! Unfollow accounts that trigger those feelings of inadequacy. Curate your own space that inspires and uplifts you.
- Gratitude is Your Superpower: Shift your focus to appreciating what you do have. Make a gratitude list every morning, or take a moment before bed to reflect on things that brought you joy that day. If you do not want to write, talk to yourself and maybe the Divine to share the thankfulness.
- Your Journey, Your Pace: Everyone has their unique path. Stop comparing your Chapter 2 to someone else’s Chapter 10. It’s a marathon, not a sprint! ♀️ For some having a large house may be an achievement, for others, it is the Olympics, and for others, it can be simply family time. A teacher told me once, your competition should be yourself.
- Find Your Flow: What truly sets your soul on fire? Pursue your passions, the things that make you lose track of time and feel completely absorbed (I am not talking about mind-numbing scrolling here).
The Science of Contentment
But contentment isn’t just about positive thinking and mindset shifts. Research has shown that certain practices and habits can significantly boost our well-being and contentment levels.
- Mindfulness Meditation: Studies have shown that meditation can reduce stress, improve focus, and increase overall happiness. Even with 5 minutes of mindfulness, you can reduce stress levels. By focusing on the present moment without judgment, we can cultivate a sense of peace and contentment.
- Spend Time in Nature: Ah, the concrete jungles! I crave time in nature and try to take some time every day to watch trees, and plants, go to the terrace to feel the breeze, or walk in natural surroundings. Spending time in nature can improve mental health and well-being. Whether it’s going for a walk in the park, hiking in the mountains, or simply sitting outside and enjoying the fresh air, connecting with nature can have a profound impact on our contentment levels. You might realize with time that you do not seek validation but only self-improvement.
- Prioritize Relationships: Strong social connections are essential for our happiness and well-being. Make time for quality interactions with loved ones, join social groups or clubs, or volunteer your time to help others.
- Set Realistic Goals: While striving for personal growth and achievement is important, it’s crucial to set realistic goals that align with your values and capabilities. Avoid comparing yourself to others and focus on your journey.
- Be Kind to Yourself: In a lot of my conversations with my Coachees as well as friends, this seems to be a common occurrence. It is okay to not to be harsh on yourself. If you do not want to talk to a growing child like that, don’t have that kind of conversation with yourself. And don’t take everything to seriously! (Be sincere of course)
Remember, my dear lovely reader, your worth isn’t defined by the likes, comments, or achievements. It is about who you are, the connections you build, and the positive impact you make on the world, however big or small. Let’s ditch the comparison trap and find the flow that makes our hearts sing!
Now go out there and shine your light!
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